Navigating donor conception (eggs, sperm, embryos) is a highly individual process and it is difficult to know when & how to tell a child that they are donor conceived.
My first experience of donor conception (DC) was in the early 90’s; donors were anonymous, parents were not encouraged to tell their children that they were donor conceived & donor insemination (DI) for lesbian couples was unheard of (legislation discouraged treatment without a father). In 2005 the UK rules progressed to known donation & in 2008 the HFE Act removed the ‘need for a father’.
A study from The Donor Sibling Registry (Beeson et al, 2011) showed that offspring of lesbian parents and single mothers learned of their DI origins at an earlier age and had a more positive reaction than the offspring of heterosexual parents. More recently, an ongoing 35-year old U.S. National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study (NLLFS), explored how children relate to and feel about their donors. The results: adult offspring from planned lesbian families showed that those who knew their donors mainly felt positively about these relationships (Koh et al 2020).
Thanks to at-home-genetics kits, such as @23and Me, donor anonymity no longer exists. The NLLFS research is important & has far reaching implications for medical and mental health professionals, families of all types contemplating donor insemination, sperm donors, sperm bank and fertility clinics, DI offspring, and donor registries. Advice and counsel for families (including adolescent and adult offspring) on navigating relationships with known donors, recently met open-identity donors, or donors located through genetic network online registries may avert or diminish some conflict.
For anyone contemplating donor conception support and information can be found at:
www.donorconceptionandbeyond.au
@threemakesbaby
Also the progress educational trust are holding 2 free webinars on 8th & 16th September about donation. Attendees will not be audible or visible during this online event, but will still be able to put questions and comments to the speakers and chair
